Story time! #TBT

I always remember the day I moved to Texas. We were driving in Louisiana, near Baton Rouge, and there was like a one hour delay on the interstate. My brother, who was driving the moving van in front of me, called me and said he wanted to do a detour through the city. I said ok and followed him off the exit. As I was driving through Baton Rouge, I was looking around and noticing all the buildings and houses (y’all know I love architecture and design. Just the way certain buildings are created will keep me mesmerized for hours.) Anywho, I said to myself: “One day Jona, you’re going to move from Montgomery to a city like this…”

As I was driving to San Antonio 🤦🏾‍♀️!

I felt the Lord tap me on the shoulder in the spirit and was like “Ummm…that’s literally what you’re doing right now!” It hit me like a ton of bricks…I WAS MOVING TO SAN ANTONIO! I was FLOORED! I was in a car driving to my new home in Texas, but in my mind, I was still back in Montgomery. My position had changed but my mind had not!

I’m preaching good if don’t nobody say Amen! 

Even when God chooses to bless us or changes our position, if our minds are still stuck back at the place where we used to be, we won’t even see how far we’ve come. That’s why the Bible talks about our minds being renewed (daily) by the reading of the Word, so we can see what God is doing, WHEN He is doing it. I don’t know about you, but never again do I want to be in the middle of my blessing, and still feel bound to what God has already delivered me from!

Have a blessed Thursday! 

“My Truth as a Dark Skinned Black Woman During the Riots”

When I first heard about the deaths of Breonna Taylor, Auhmad Arbery and George Floyd, I (like so many other black people) was IMMEDIATELY enraged, but I erroneously thought we would just get mad, sign petitions and then forget about it!

Boy was I wrong. And I’ve never been prouder of the fact that I was wrong in my life.

We finally got MAD enough to come together and let our voices be heard. However, in the midst of us coming together, I noticed that a lot of the black men who I was marching with or for, didn’t have spouses/partners who looked like me. I also realized that whenever I got in a “heated debate” on social media, it was usually other black women OR white men who had my back. 

This made me ask myself…”self…after all of this is over, will black women finally earn the privilege of receiving the undying love and affection of the black men that we are hitting the streets with? Or are they marching so that their life choices will be accepted by the mainstream, and using black women as work mules to get it done?” I’ve found that several (not all, not most, but A LOT) of black men with “other” spouses/partners were not outraged or surprised when their spouses/partners were not equally as vocal as their black husbands/partners were. Some even defended them and I noticed several “brothers” with “other” wives seemed to want the protests to “remain peaceful and calm”. 

I bet you do!!

Only ONCE in my online policing and trolling of racists has a BLACK MAN came to my defense, and wouldn’t you know it…his wife and children WERE BLACK! 

Stop telling people that who you marry doesn’t affect the way that you see the world, because it actually does. A white man cannot have a black wife and biracial children and it NOT impact the way he sees race and cultural biases. And neither can a black man living with a woman who doesn’t look like me honestly and a hundred percent say that he will honor and protect me because the truth is,  if he decides to marry silky hair and light skin, he probably does not value me enough to even be bothered. And if by some miracle he is “bothered”, then it’s not by much.

On the other hand, I find that the spouses of black women who marry outside of their race are VERY vocal about injustices and systematic reform. Maybe its because most black women who have a non-black spouse actually wanted to marry black partners, and were not as eager to “forget the struggle” in comparison to (some) black men who never even considered dating or marrying a black woman and was all to eager to put aside their “voice” just to be accepted. Now again, I’m not saying ALL black men who date outside of their race do this. Some of them, as well as their spouses, are very vocal about racial injustices. As they should. They will be/are parents to children who the world will see as “just black”, unfortunately.

And then there’s the issue of colorism within “the movement”. It’s funny (its actually not) that most renowned black revolutionaries had VERY fair skinned wives, but we’re not ready to have that conversation.

I told a good friend of mine today (who just happens to be very fair skinned with fine fair) and is “tired of trying to explain to white people how to not be racists”, that I will never have that luxury. See, I’ve found while “letting my voice be heard on social media) that a black man will look over my comment to cape for hers. Or he will just “like” my comment and then leave a paragraph under hers. Even when fighting oppression, dark skinned black women are STILL overlooked! The fact that Breonna Taylor’s name is left off of many “we want justice for (fill in the blanks)” posts all over social media has NOT been overlooked by the thousands of black women who DO remember to SAY HER NAME!

Yes, it’s time to have a conversation about systematic racism and oppression, but it’s also time to have a conversation about colorism and intersectionality. Like a real conversation that finally addresses what happens when you are black, dark skinned, and a woman.

Let me know how you feel by dropping a comment below!! And please share!! 


#SandraBland #AttianaJefferson #BreonnaTaylor

God bless! 

“Feeling Myself”

Sometimes life takes so much out of you that you just stop feeling like your normal self. This can last days, weeks, months…even years! Sometimes this feeling is due to depression, loneliness, anxiety, grief or even daily routine. 

I’ve been feeling this way for the last few years. Many people don’t know about my personal battle with depression and anxiety. I have been known to exhibit behaviors of anger and hostility, two symptoms nobody associates with being severely depressed, when I’m really overwhelmed by my struggles or when I’m triggered. One of my biggest triggers is rejection. It can get very lonely always feeling like you don’t belong. Sometimes the very people who are supposed to be your “safe space” end up being the ones who (knowingly or unknowingly) keep you locked in a cycle of mental instability and pain.

Lately though, I’ve been feeling like myself. I’m glad that God has allowed me to go through certain things and even allowed me to lose some very special people who were extremely close to me as well. The funny thing is, I now feel lighter and freer than ever before. It’s like weights have been lifted off my shoulder and I can now finally see the sky.

Yep, I’m feeling like myself again…the Jona I grew up with. The funny one…the smart one…the sexy one! I think I’m finally ready to put the past behind me and start something new. I want to love again, hope again…TRUST again! I’ve lost so much these past few years, but I’m still here! I know this new life won’t be familiar, but it is my new normal. 

Life is funny. Just when you see the light at the end of the road, it’s like Jesus hits that light switch and everything goes pitch black. That’s ok though. That’s when the light He has placed inside of us gets to shine it’s brightest. 


Happy new year 2020 on the background of the salute

It’s a new month, a new year, a new season, and a new decade and so you ALREADY KNOW that God has something NEW JUST FOR YOU! Now I’m not saying let go of everything you’ve been praying for but have yet to receive, but I AM saying that ALL THINGS ARE SPIRITUAL. Maybe, just maybe, God had reset the clock or allowed it to run out  on “that thing” because He has something better in store for you. 

It’s funny because I just took a huge break while writing this to finish re-watching the movie “Jumanji”. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a movie about teens who get trapped in a video game. They are each given three lives, and at first this made them anxious and nervous, but eventually they readjusted and actually started using this to their “advantage”, even allowing themselves to be killed in order to escape dangerous situations. They realized that sometimes the best way to “LEVEL UP” is by starting over.

Unlike the kids in the film, we are only blessed with one life and when our time is up, the game is over. However, I urge you to consider that maybe it’s time for you to “START OVER.” Or maybe it’s time for you to “start up again” (ouch, that just pricked me lol). All I’m saying is now is not the time to stay stuck in a situation that you know is hopeless. Sometimes you just have to yield, look up to the sky and yell “REBOOT!”  

I pray that 2020 brings you everything you’ve ever wanted, and I pray that God blows your mind by doing what He does best: exceeding our expectations. I also pray that this year you learn to finally let go of the past so that you can fully embrace the future. It’s a new year, yes, but it doesn’t work with old minds, thoughts and habits; we have to renew our minds so that we can LEVEL UP! 

So, I say, out with the old and in with the new. Who’s with me?

Time to Move On

So…I was sitting in the Popeye’s drive thru waiting on my chicken sandwich, and I got an alert on my phone. When I looked down, I saw that my ex-boyfriend had sent me a CashApp request for $5. Immediately I laughed at this simple negro cause I knew that

1) He did not need the money 


b) He was trolling me trying to get a response.

See, he no longer has access to me and while a lot of men would try to SEND MONEY to get their ex’s attention…HE KNEW! Send me money if you want to; I’m just going to CASH OUT and keep it moving! He wanted me to ask him WTW, thus starting a conversation where he would slip in how much he missed me… blah blah blah, and don’t nobody got any time for that!

That’s how you know that your future is ready, when your past wants you back! So many of us can’t receive what God is trying to do in this season, because our hands are still full holding on to what He has tried to deliver us from three seasons ago. We pray for “God to bless us and give us new”, but you ain’t fooling nobody baby. You don’t want new. You want that old thing to suddenly “work out”. And that’s why you’re stuck, going round and round like an old record on a DJ’s turntable. It’s time to LET IT GO! Don’t look back…don’t respond, not even to “go off”. They are no longer worth it. Don’t cancel your future trying to get even with your past. It’s ok that they miss you. It’s ok that you sometimes miss them, too, but that doesn’t mean that “you belong together”. That chapter in the book of your life is over; I know it was a really good chapter, too. Or maybe it was a horrible one. Either way it doesn’t matter.  If you want to know how the story ends…you have to MOVE ON!

Count Your Blessings

Life. It gets better.

One year ago I was recovering from one of the lowest moments in my life. This year I’ve lost so much, yet I’m actually living in one of the best moments of my life. But what if I had given up last year? What if I had thrown in the towel and said, “well..that’s enough of this…I’m out.” Not only would I have not received the many blessings I now have, but I also would not have been given the many disappointments and the lessons they brought and those lessons made me stronger and wiser. 

My challenge to you today is to not run away from the hard lessons. They may be difficult to endure, but not only can they be life changing, they can also be LIFE SAVING! Living a life of apathy, or worse yet, choosing not to live at all, is giving up right before it gets good. I know some of you may be saying “but Jai, my life gets worse and worse instead of better, so I doubt its going to get good.” To that I say:

1). Are you repeating patterns and habits that end in destruction, praying that this time it won’t?

2) If you aren’t engaging in destructive patterns, yet life keeps giving you lemonade, have you learned to make lemonade yet? (Are you learning the lesson?)

3) If it isn’t 1 or 2 that just means you either need to open your eyes to the good stuff happening in your life  that you may be blind to, or God is just saving the best for last when it comes to you.

Most times us being miserable is based on only ONE or TWO things that we have allowed to consume our whole life and outlook. Maybe God doesn’t want to change the situation. Maybe the thing He wants to change is YOU and how you handle disappointment because He knows that if you can’t manage hurt, you probably won’t be a good manager of the blessing you are waiting on. Sometimes because we haven’t received “THAT BLESSING” we start blocking out all the other blessings that come our way. That is the purest form of ungratefulness, and that’s the quickest way to block your blessing…even “THAT ONE”. So again I reiterate to COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS and not your woes! Making permanent decisions based on momentary pain is not only not wise, but also discounts the beautiful things (and people) already in your life. 


Unconditional Love

So many of us want to receive Unconditional Love, and that’s cool. Funny thing is though, you will never know if a person’s love for you is unconditional, until you realize it isn’t. The fact is, Unconditional Love is NOT just loving someone or accepting someone in spite of their flaws. It’s not just an emotion or a feeling. True Unconditional Love is an ACTION! That’s why it’s “unconditional”… because I’m going to still DO what I said I was going to do, DESPITE outside circumstances.

When you make me mad, I’m still coming home.

I made vows to you, so I forsake all others.

I love you as myself, so I won’t belittle, demean, hurt or abuse you, your body, your spirit, your heart, or your trust.

I discipline myself so that my actions line up with my vows.

I forsake momentary temptation for a lifetime of commitment.

I trust that you are doing the same, but even if you don’t, my love remains the same.

Simply put, Unconditional Love isn’t what’s received, it’s what’s GIVEN. God our Father is the only One who truly gives Unconditional Love, and what did He do? “For God so loved the world that He GAVE His only begotten Son, that whosoever shall believe in Him will NOT perish but have everlasting life.” Stop looking to receive Unconditional Love and start looking to GIVE it! So my question is…What will you give up to get the love you so desperately want to receive? So many of us want to find someone to love us just as we are, but the way we are actually may limit us in finding what we’re searching for. Let God do the work IN YOU so that YOUR LOVE becomes pure and complete, and not just full of empty words and promises. Your actions, sacrifices, and yes, even motives are what makes YOUR love unconditional. So the next time you ask God to give you Unconditional Love, realize that His answer may be to get your own heart right, so you can BE the Unconditional Love you so desperately want to receive.


Let It GO!

Hurt changes your DNA. It can rob you of your natural desires and steal your destiny. Stop letting people back into your life who constantly hurt you and rob you of your peace and joy. The Bible says that above all things, guard your heart because out of it flows the issues of life. Could it be that THAT thing you’re constantly struggling against is the aftermath of being devastated by the same person OVER and OVER again. You can forgive and move on. You don’t have to put yourself back in the firing line to prove loyalty or fealty to someone who has neither one of those things for you. You’ve chosen them long enough. Choose yourself this time. Forgive them. Forgive yourself. Move on!

I can get real deep right now, but we ain’t got time for that. This is me handing you some scissors…CUT THEM OFF.

God bless!

The Black Elephant

I literally started this blog because as a dark-skinned black woman in America, I sometimes feel rejected and overlooked. I started following other blogs where beautiful (or not so beautiful) darker women were sharing their stories, blasting colorists and calling out prejudice in society, especially within our own community, but what I found shocked me. A lot of these free thinking, “down with colorism” darker-skinned women of color were sizists. These same women who called out influencers and entertainers for prejudice and discrimination were themselves bashing darker women of color who happen to be bigger. “Big and black” or Fat, black and ugly” are phrases I heard often as I followed these women. Some of them even would go on to say that society actually accepted us (darker-skinned, bigger women) more because they were comfortable with the black, fat and ugly trope. I repeatedly had to hear that black was beautiful, but only if it wasn’t plus size. They constantly use the word fat and unattractive interchangeably, and to my chagrin, I realized the way they felt about plus size females was the exact same way a lot of society also viewed them.

And I know some people reading this will say “why are you asking darker skinned women.” I’m not. I’m just calling out the black elephant in the room. 

It truly breaks my heart because it just goes back to that old way of thinking that everyone has to feel superior to someone else. It seems that if one group of people get some shine, then others who are not included somehow feels slighted. When darker smaller women see bigger darker women being celebrated, for some reason, they feel someone telling us that we are beautiful is a slap in their face. Say what now? But these are the same women who call out lighter complexion females of all races looking down on black women OR saying defiantly stupid things like “Lupita Nyong’o isn’t all that”. Ironic isn’t it that they can’t see they are doing the very same thing and can’t even see how hypocritical they are being. And yes I know other races or lighter black people who are still hooked on color like its the 1960s do it, BUT…it hurts more when it comes from someone who can share our make-up.

Now to be fair, it’s not all dark-skinned smaller women, some of my close friends who are smaller and darker-skinned LOOOOVE seeing beautiful plus sized women of all shades. Some of them actually are the ones who got me on to the plus sized/body positivity movement. But there are also those turn their nose up at us as if we are less than. I like to say that they act like they are against colorists, but I have a sneaky suspicion that if they were born with a lighter complexion, all of their social media handles would begin with @REDBONE (fill in the blanks—shout out to my lighter-skinned boos). I feel they want society to see them as beautiful, but they are scared that if society accepts other forms of beauty, then the competition pool would give these other (bigger) women a seat at their table and a chance to compete.

Sound familiar?

The truth of the matter is “dark-skinned” and “fat” live in the same marginalized community and a house divided against itself will never stand. You cannot honestly expect people to suddenly see your dark skin as something beautiful, but continue to turn your nose up at bigger women. If darker, petite women want to be accepted, then they are going to have to join the body positivity movement and embrace ALL women!

Beautiful is beautiful, no matter the size, shade, or race. If we continue to turn our nose up at each other, nobody wins. So you go to the gym every day…GREAT! It doesn’t give you the right to turn your nose up at anyone. And if you’re just blessed with a higher metabolism, I am literally side eyeing you right now! Do you know how hard it is to find, start and maintain an exercise and nutrition plan that is right for you? Even if I go to the gym right now and turn my plate over for the next few months, I’m going to still be fat for a while. How dare anyone think they are better than me because of my size! 

Racism we fight against.

Classism we toil against.

Colorism we fight against.

Sexism we stand against.

SIZISM…where do you stand? Comment below. 

“What Are You Expecting”

By Jona Nanette August 27, 2019

Sometimes…when we get disappointed in God (and people), we lose our faith. I’ve heard many well meaning ministers of the gospel tell people that their “expectations” were why they
were hurt, so we need to stop expecting things to happen and we won’t get hurt.

Good theory…but it’s unbiblical…

FAITH is the substance of things HOPED FOR…the evidence of things NOT SEEN.

Hope is what causes us to EXPECT that thing we cannot see…So…EXPECTANCY is the result of us BELIEVING and HOPING. So to expect something to happen is the literal definition of FAITH!
When we eliminate expectancy, we are actually eliminating Faith…and who do we have faith in?

See where I’m going?

Yeah it didn’t work out…I’m so sorry.

They hurt you…Yeah, that’s messed up.


There’s a difference in “I believe even if He doesn’t do it” and “He doesn’t have to do it but I still believe”. Ummm…what exactly are you believing in the second one? You’re actually doubting Him and without FAITH it’s impossible to please God. Fear is as strong as faith and whatever you believe will happen. Maybe that’s why you’re constantly disappointed. Only His Word will stand after the fire. We have to stand on faith and submit our will to His so anything He didn’t say or approve will get burned away. Even your doubt and fears. Stop hindering God because people hurt you. Keep expecting! Keep hoping! Keep believing and WATCH HIM MOVE!

Be easy fam! #hope #peace #love #andEXPECT

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